13 Questions: Interview with Rockin' Mom Author, Judy Davids

I've been found out!

Judy Davids' ears were burning or something when I posted this the other day.  She contacted me to say she'd be delighted to answer any question I had.  So, how about a 13 question interview with this Rockin' Mom from the band,  Mydols, author of the book, Rock Star Mommy;  My Life as a Rocker Mom?  And, just because I can, I'm also tossing in some She Lives commentary along the way.  (Like I've ever kept my comments to myself, right?)

1)  >She Lives:  Judy, you're a busy mom.  You're married with two active boys, correct?
>Judy:  Yes I have two teenage sons (Dylan and Willie), a husband (John) and two dogs (Ozzie and Barney)!
>Carol's Comment:   Hey!  I have two kids and two dogs, too.  And my husband's name is Jon!  (Someone kicked the h out of him.)

2)  >SL:  Without spoiling the book for us, tell us a little about your decision to pursue music at this very busy stage in your life.
>J:  I was the editor of my sons'€™ elementary school PTA newsletter (in 2002) and we interviewed Jack White (of White Stripes fame). He was the uncle of one of the other students. He was so cool. I wanted to be just like him - not necessarily be a great guitarist -€”but a rock star. It seemed completely doable to me He made it look so easy.
>CC:  Easy?!?  *snort*  I guess that's why they call it "an act."

3)  >SL:  Being in a band is a lot of work.  Briefly, tell us about your band and the types of tasks you do for the band to help keep things going.
>J: I agree it is hard work. The Mydols (my band) are a group of 4 moms. None of us knew how to play instruments when we started. So we had that to learn in addition to marketing, writing songs, rehearsing and the like. I pretty much manage the band. I do our website, Myspace presence, press kit, and media relations. I have learned so much, €”it's amazing. I mean, I think my brain is pretty full, €”so how I make room for all this is a miracle. (Although most days I can'€™t find my coat or keys. I guess that'€™s the information I delete.)
>CC:    Ah! Realty sets in.

4)  >SL:  As a musician, I know from experience that it is not possible to devote time to practicing, rehearsing, performing and promoting your craft without support from the husband.  What types of things does yours do and say that help and encourage you most in your musical endeavors?   
>J:  My husband is great. He really believes in me and encourages me to take time off to pursue a music career. It’s not always easy for him but he has been so patient. You can usually find him in the front row (with a Mydols€™ t-shirt on) at one of our shows singing along.
>CC:  Somebody hand that man a microphone!  Any man that will wear a t-shirt in public that says Mydols on it is already a star!

5)  >SL: Are there any limitations to how much Mydols your husband can tolerate?  In other words, how much time away from home is okay and how much is too much?
>J:   I think he is OK with me being gone (in another state or overnight) about twice a year and playing shows around twice a month. Now that we are an established band in the Detroit Music scene we actually play less often than that but bigger, higher profile shows.
>CC:  Okay, that sounds like my Jon.  ('Cause the "h" is silent, right?)

6)  >SL: What about the kids?  Do they all agree in their opinions of having a rock musician for a mom?  Or do they differ in opinion?  Do any of them think it's "weird" like my kids do?  (Someone define "weird" for me!!)
>J:  When we started the band they were in grades 1 and 3 and they thought it was completely normal. It was just something I did. Now my oldest is in high school and he pretty much doesn'€™t want to hear anything about my band anymore. HOWEVER my 7^th grader still thinks I'm pretty cool. He recently asked me to participate in €"career day" at his middle school. It was a great moment of pride for me. (I figure in two years he'll be like his brother, €”he won't want me anywhere near his school!)
  >CC:  So, it's a teenage thing?  Like, one day Ruben (6th grade) is going to think I'm as weird as his sister (10th) thinks I am?  Great.  Something to look forward to.  [sigh]

7)   >SL:  Okay, fess up!  How much of the housework do you "outsource?"   Housekeeper once/week?  Drop the laundry at the cleaners?  In-house chef on the weekends? Personal organizer?  How do you get it all done and devote yourself to a band at the same time?  (AND writing a book!!!!)
>J:  Well my husband cooks and does laundry. I mow the lawn and do yard work. (Kind of role reversal there.) And to be honest the rest of our house is a mess most of the time. We live life and it shows on our dining room table (bills, gig flyers, book marks, soccer schedules, art class catalogs). I wish it was tidier, but, well who laments on their deathbed “I wish I was a better house keeper? I'll go to my grave with very few regrets.
>CC:  I have not, will not, should not, could not, can not, have not nor have any inclination to mow a lawn.  Ever.  As much as I despise laundry, gimme the piles!

8)  >SL:  Some moms knit, some scrapbook, some do other hobby-ish things.  Did the Mydols start out as a hobby/diversion for you?   Isn't it a little selfish for us moms to have hobbies/diversions that are just for us?
>J:  Yes. I think, the Mydols did start as a hobby. I figured after years of spoiling the kids, it was time to spoil myself and do something fun. And no, I don'€™t think it's selfish. As mom's happiness goes, so goes the entire household. We all need a break from each other once and a while to stretch our wings. Besides, I think the kids are glad to get rid of me every now and then.
>CC:  Oh, good answer!  Very, very good answer!

9)  >SL:  Being a member of a band presents challenges for every musician.  What are some of the most unexpected challenges you've found so far? 
>J:   I think we were naive when we started the band and thought it would be a democracy - €”like equal representation on all issues. Soon you find out that 4 people usually have 4 different ideas and you need a leader or nothing will ever happen. I emerged as the leader only to find out that being the leader often is a lonely job. It's kind of like being on a bus. The leader is the driver and gets to decides where you'€™re going while everyone else sits in the back and is having fun. Sometimes I feel like that.
>CC:  Sistah's singin' dem Rock Band Leader Blues!  I know it, baby.  It just makes a girl wanna weep.

10) >SL:  Besides mommy-hood and...being a mom, and....other mom stuff, what else inspires your song writing?
>J:  Nothing really. We have the mommy shtick laid on really thick. It’s our gimmick and it seems to be working. It really sets us apart from the boys.
>CC:  Uh...Besides the obvious, you know,  girl-i-ness?  Personally, I think there need to be more songs about the trials and joys of motherhood being played on the radio.  I truly believe that listening to all those sappy love songs since we were pre-pubescent helped lead up to the whole motherhood thing to begin with.  A little radio reality seems like a good thing to me.  Even though nobody asked me.  (Are there any songs out there about blogging?)

11) >SL:  What are your short and long term goals for your music?  Like, do you see yourself writing a future book entitled Rock Star Granny?
>J: Oh...! I hope not. The Mydols are already booked into next year. We’ll see where we go after that. I am going to write another book though, but no more memoirs!
>CC: Rats!  I know I'm going to need to read Rock Star Granny some day!  Hmmm....Maybe we can persuade Grace Slick to take time off from painting pictures to write the book?  Maybe I'll write it myself? 

12) >SL:  Some people tend to avoid the performing arts because they're afraid of looking stupid in front of a lot of people.  I seriously doubt Ann & Nancy Wilson or Stevie Nicks & Christie McVie or Bonnie Raitt or any musician in the history of music has ever enjoyed a one hundred percent error-free career.  What's the craziest or most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you while on stage?
>J:   In the very beginning of our career we played at the Magic Stick (Detroit). This club was mentioned in Playboy as being one of the top 3 venues in the country to see live music and we had only performed in public maybe 5 times. We were definitely out of our league. We were so new and I still didn’t really even know how to tune yet. I was fumbling around on stage with a tuner and the sound man was yelling at me through the PA. I wanted to cry.
>CC:  Yeah.  I want to cry a lot.  I keep Kleenex in my gig bag now. 

13)  >SL:  What words of warning and words of encouragement can you share with other moms who would like to do more to express themselves musically, whether in an ensemble situation like a band, or a solo endeavor?
>J:  Just do it. The great thing about getting old is that your friends are there for you. I wanted to be in a band when I was young and I felt so much peer pressure. In my forties, my friends were there to let me play at their restaurants, to lend me guitar tuners, to write songs, to let my band open for their band. I was shocked. I thought everyone would think I was nuts. The opposite was true. People wanted to see The Mydols succeed because they could feel our passion and determination.
>CC:  Getting old?!?  Who said anything about getting old?!?  

She Lives' readers want to see Judy and the Mydols succeed, as well!  Thank you so much for taking time away from your guitar and lawn mower to offer a little back stage insight into mommy rock musicianship, Judy!

You can catch Judy on The Passion Project online radio tomorrow, June 20th, at 11:00AM. 

Rock on, Mom!

(So, that's my very first time to interview anyone.  Cindy, Heather and Susanne would be so proud!)

Comments

[Chelle Y.]

Pretty cool!

[Nicholas]

That was very interesting, though I confess I have never heard of her.

[SandyCarlson]

This sounds like a genuine inspiration! Thanks for the insights.

[pussreboots]

Interesting interview. Happy TT.

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Heh. I'll write the rock star mommy book!

Since you asked: I've got this book called Trevor's Song. It's been done and on the market for awhile. Problem is, books about rock stars don't sell, says the publishing industry. Problem is, books about people with cancer don't sell -- says the publishing industry. And says some friends, Trevor's hard to like at first.

Three strikes.

I continue to believe in this book because I know its power -- as do the friends who've read it. Nothing like a published author to say to you, "Holy shit, this is better than I can do."

It's getting over those hurdles that's my goal now. Those three strikes.

So... that's my story. And yes, I've heard of the Mydols before this! What can I say? I adore music; it's my passion. I'm really thrilled to see you've blogged about this woman and her band.

Are you less confused now? I'm doing my best...

[Lori]

Very cool...great interview. Happy TT.

[Linda R. Moore]

Wow--what a unique and interesting TT! I'm really glad I stopped by now. :)

Thanks for visiting. I'm not really sorry I made you hungry. You'll have something nice for dinner and everything will work out fine. :)

[Ann Bruce]

Cool.

Just do it, eh?

I need to do more of that.

[Shaunesay]

very nice interview! even knowing nothing about the Mydols, I enjoyed it! I admire anyone that do that public performance thing, I had dreams of being a rockstar in my high school days, but they were just that, dreams! LOL! Not many rockstar clarinetist's around, though I know you could argue there are a few out there! ;)

[forgetfulone]

Pretty awesome post!

[Winter]

Why have I never heard of this book? Great TT. I must check out the author now!

[Robin]

The Mydols apparently haven't made it to Israel yet, but I love the way she's living out her dream, and I like her approach to housework too ;-).

[Sue]

This is the first I've heard of her, but she sounds very interesting! Great list idea :) Happy TT and thanks for stopping by :)

[Gattina]

I would have loved to be a Rocker's mum, lol but my son choose art in advertising !

[Karen]

Awesome interview and TT! Thanks for stopping by mine!

[Peter Plum]

Great idea for a TT--doing an interview!

Thanks for stopping by my TT!

[Wendy]

Great interview!!! I'll have to see if they have this book at my local library.

[Alice Audrey]

I've never heard of her, but she sounds like a very rocking mama.

[Celticlibrarian]

Ooooo....I'm going to have to check out that radio show. Sounds really cool.

And may I just say...Rock On!

[Di]

What a great idea! I wonder if I can get my favorite author, Anne Lamott, to let me ask her 13 questions on my blog!

[Pamela Kramer]

Great interview! Happy TT and thanks for stopping by this week.

[Our Life as an Air Force Family]

Very cool!

[Bernie]

Great list, mine is up at Top 13 Boys Names for 2007

[Bernie]

Great list, mine is up at Top 13 Boys Names for 2007

[Riley]

What an awesome interview! She sounds great! I love that they didn't even know how to play intstruments when they decided to up and do this. That's the stuff movies are made. I'm going to go check out their myspace profile now...

[Haley-O]

Great TT and interview. I'll have to check that book out!

[Allison]

Great interview!

I love the role-reversal of the house work! We have some role reversal here, too (he does most of the laundry and vacuuming!), but I am always the one cooking and he always does the "manual labor."

HAHA to "Rock Star Granny!" Love it!

Happy belated TT!