13 Ways to Get Kids to Want to Practice Their Music

Pick one of the following statements and fill in the blank with the name of an instrument:

• I took ________lessons when I was a kid; I sure wish my mom had made me practice more.
• I used to play the _______________, but I haven't picked it up in years.
• I put my child in __________________lessons, but they didn't want to practice, so I we just gave up.

It's the most common dilemma parents with young musicians face; how to get them to practice.

Music lessons and instruments cost money.  Nobody wants to feel they've thrown away time, energy and finances providing an opportunity their kids don't take advantage of.  It's easier to just give up than to try to force them. 

So, what if you could get them to practice without resorting to anything that might get you reported to Child Protective Services?

If you want to give your children the gift of music, here are some things you'll have to give them first.

1)  Give Them a  Quality Instructor
Quality doesn't always mean highly-degreed, but some level of knowledge and skill is necessary. 

• Ask at your church or school for recommendations
• Ask other parents about their experiences
• Contact your local Music Teacher's Association
• Interview several teachers, first via telephone, then by way of an "interview lesson" where, parent teacher and student have an opportunity to determine whether it's a match
• Ask at local music stores
• Talk with non-teaching musicians that you know and trust   Be the parent and make the final decision; kids like colorful rooms and winning smiles, but that's not always the best indicator of a quality instructor.
• More on selecting a good music teacher in coming weeks.

2)  Give Them Priorities.
Kids are more likely to make music a priority for themselves if they witness it as a priority for you.  (See yesterday's post for more on this.)

3)  Give Them a Good Example.
It's tough to get kids to do something we're not willing to do ourselves.

• If you don't play an instrument, it's hard to insist your child does so. 
• If you can't afford lessons for yourself and your kids, observe their lessons, then go home and put what you heard to use.
• Or let them teach you - that's always good.
• Take advantage of the many FREE online music lessons available to you on the 'net. 
  
• If you once played an instrument, but laid it down years ago, pick it back up again.  You'll benefit, too!

4)  Give Them Limits
In our home instrument practice only takes second seat to homework.  Nothing else happens until those two things are done.  If sports or other extracurricular activities are crowding out practice time, it could be your child is too busy and you may have to make a tough choice.  I always ask, "Which activity are they more likely to still be engaged in when they're 40?  50?  60 years old?"

5) Give Them Live Music
Preferably events featuring instrumentalists of their type.  It's very difficult for a musician to watch their type of instrument being played skillfully without wanting to go home and work towards that level of mastery.  There are low-cost/no-cost events in every community.  Watch your paper for concerts in the park, ask music teachers if you can attend their recitals, check out recitals at local colleges, hang out by the band stands at fairs and festivals, check with music stores about local jam nights.  Seek and you will find.  It's also a great way to get the kids out from in front of all the screens in the house.  And gives the family a together-time activity.

6)  GiveThem Role Models
It may seem awkward to you, but kids love asking for autographs after concerts.  Most musicians are a lot more accessible than you think. I've emailed many extremely famous ones with questions and, for the most part, they have been very gracious to reply and to offer assistance. (Don't be surprised to see future interviews with a few of them here on She Lives.) They love sending autographed photos to kids, too!  Local, non-famous musicians are very accessible after their shows and will think it's a hoot to give your kid an autograph and some words of encouragement.

7)  Give Them a Better Reason to Watch TV
Much more inspiring than music videos, concerts actually show musicians playing their instruments.   This should not be a substitute for  #5, however.  Nothing is quite like a live performance!

8)  Give Them Close-up Examples
There are tons of videos online featuring close-up demonstrations of good musicianship.  Do a search for the masters of their instrument and watch them together on YouTube.

9) Give Them Something to Read
Look for age-appropriate books about musicians and books written by musicians that pertain to music, musicianship, and specific instruments.  They can be very inspirational.  Look for them at your library, the book store, and online.  Ask musician friends and music teachers for recommendations.  Read them together.

10) Give Them Their Favorite Songs
There are basic theoretical and practical foundations to music instruction that are extremely necessary, but often bore kids to tears.  Those foundations must be in place.  Period.  But there's no reason kids can't explore music outside their lesson books as well.  Purchase sheet music or music books with songs that your kids like listening to on the radio and encourage them to learn those songs, too .... after they practice their lessons, of course.  Important note: Enlist their music teacher's assistance with this so he/she can help choose music scores that fit your child's skill level.

11)   Give Them Constant Access to Their Instruments.
Better yet, leave the instrument in your child's way.  They're more likely to pick it up just to mess around and try new things if they don't have to drag it out of the closet and out of it's case.  I know it gets noisy but, in addition to their scheduled practice time, they should be allowed to practice whenever they are drawn to their instrument.  Maybe dad can go watch TV in the bedroom?  With earphones?  Or maybe your child's instrument can be practiced through earphones?  Explore all peace-keeping options that also allow for spontaneous practice times.

12) Give The Best You Possibly Can
Nothing is more discouraging than trying to make music on an instrument that is faulty, sounds bad, or is difficult to play because of structural inferiority.  Obtain the very best instrument you possibly can.  I did not say the most expensive on the market. The best quality for the dollar may be a used instrument that costs the same as a brand new piece of junk on the shelf at the local, national, it's-everywhere-you-look discount store.   

• Be prepared to spend some time and do a little leg-work, though.  Your local paper, Craig's List, sometimes even eBay can be good sources for used instruments.  Watch out for the shipping costs, though!  And be sure you know what to ask about condition before buying from eBay.
• Watch the sales and specials at the music stores. Ask them to cut a deal with you on top of the sale price.  They often will.
• Don't forget to ask the musicians in your life if they know anyone wanting to sell. And don't be afraid to ask if you can borrow for a time.  Uncle Earl may have a great guitar in his closet that he hasn't played in years, but would love your little Johnny to have.  With the help of other musicians, you can find quality instruments (amplifiers, cables, cases, straps, etc.) that are in good working order without breaking the bank.
• Musicians often purchase above their means then pawn their excellent quality instruments.  Don't rule out the pawn shop option.  Again, have someone experienced go with you to help you avoid a mistake.

13)  Give them lots of praise and encouragement.    Even if they stink. 
Remember the lesson I learned  on Wednesday at Rock Camp?  Look for something to praise.  If you have a criticism, sandwich it between two layers of praise and it will be gobbled up like an Oreo cookie!

• "I love how focused you were while practicing just now."
• "Your hard work is starting to show."
• "I'm so glad you're learning that song - It's one of my favorites."
• "Your hand position is just like the teacher told you."
• "I didn't have to tell you to practice today.  Hooray!"

Find something...anything to praise.  BUT make sure it's sincere.  They know if they stink.  You don't have to tell them, but don't lie, either.  Just give them whatever encouragement you can find.  If they are sounding good, or even better than before, then your job is an easy one!

14)  BONUS:  Give them opportunities to perform!
This one merits its own post, so I'm not going to expound here.  Look for this topic in upcoming posts here at She Lives.

Tomorrow:  Teens Talk About Musicianship.  Listen up, Parents!

Comments

[Lori]

Great list and ideas:) Happy TT.

[Pamela Kramer]

Great post! I would love for my kids to play an instrument. Happy TT.

[Angelika]

I used to play clarinet, but I haven't picked it up in years.

[Elaine]

I took guitar lessons when i was a kid, i sure wish my mom had made me practice more... great list, very inspiring, almost makes me want to have kids! hehe...

[Elaine]

P.S..... I WON!!!! hehe... thank you thank you thank you

[Journeywoman]

What an amazing list. I wish my parents did some of these.

[Wolfbernz]

Thanks for stopping by.
My kids play Guitar Hero too, I have to agree it doesn't count.

When I hit the publish button it didn't publish, mines up now!

Happy TT
Wolfbernz

[Susanne]

Those are great tips Carol. I unfortunately fell into the category of kid who wanted to play the guitar but didn't want the forced practices. Now I no longer play. Your list is very helpful for a parent.

[Nicole]

I absolutely loved this list. I have two clarinet players, so this was funny and informative to me.

[Barbara H.]

Great tips!

[Barbara H.]

I didn't think of this when I commented earlier til after I hit the button, but something Ive wondered is when do you let kids give up lessons? I have known so many adults who wish their parents hadn't let them give up that we "made" ours keep up with piano lessons til they graduated from high school. Only my middle one has gone on to learn other instruments and likes to play around with playing music (he's not diligent enough to be proficient). I am getting so tired of my youngest one's complaining about practice that I am tempted to let him drop the lessons.

[storyteller]

My answers - Violin, cello, piano, and clarinet as a kid … guitar later (still play some) … I have no kids.

Great T-13 today … lots of excellent ideas that I hope your readers with kids (and grandkids) think about and pass along. Thanks for sharing ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

[jason]

As a teacher, this is one of our biggest hurdles in getting a child to improve ... how to keep the instrument in their hands and focus during practice (and not just play the Nirvana riff over and over) LOL

A typical lesson is the student coming in and saying "I didn't practice as much as I should" comment. We all have been there.

So we try to get them hyped up so that they leave with the itch to play and work to improve.

IMO, for children, it is crucial that the parents stay engaged with the child. Asking them to play for you on a regular basis, sitting in and listening to a practice session, talking with the teacher to see how the child is doing (and not just dropping them off and picking them up in th parking lot)all pay dividends in their progress.

Great blog, love the posts! Keep up the good work.

[Allison]

Great advice! I do hope to encourage my son to play an instrument when he's older, and I think a lot of this will be helpful. I dabbled in learning how to play guitar (self taught...you're right about online resources!) and I want to pick it up again. Knowing that it would help him play, too, makes me want to even more!

Happy TT :) Thanks for a great list.

[Carole]

As a person who took piano lessons throughout childhood and now has a daughter who takes piano lessons and will be starting violin in the fall, I thought this was a GREAT post! I esp. agree with #10 - if you don't enjoy the music you're learning, it's hard to stay motivated. My DD has her lesson book and also another book of appropriate level "fun songs" and I think that really helps. And in our house, like yours, practicing music lessons also comes right after homework - I think it's a good system. There is one other thing though, that I think is important in learning an instrument - you have to enjoy it. Maybe not all the time when you're learning a hard piece, or when you don't feel like practicing, but there has to be a love for the instrument and for music or I think in the long run it just won't work.
Great post!
Carole

[G]

One more thing, make them watch YouTube videos. That's how my addiction started! :D

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Man, this fits in with the discussion we've been having...

[Grandmother Wren]

Thank you for the most valuable TT I've read in a long time. I'm going to link to your "young musicians series" in tomorrow's Grandmother Wren entry. I Love This! Thank you again,

[Robin]

I think #10 is critically important.

It was flute for me - played through 12th grade, competed (and did fairly well), etc. and then gave it all up because it wasn't "cool". Twenty years later I still regret that. I've tried to pick it up again over the years and it just doesn't seem that it's meant to be anymore.

[Muthering Heights]

Those are great tips! I wish I had a piano, so I could get started up again and entice my little ones to want to play. :)