I Am Thankful For . . .

So, I get a note home from the boy's (almost 12 y/o) teacher yesterday.  It's a disciplinary note that I'm supposed to sign and send back. It says, and I quote ...

"The students were asked to complete the sentence, 'I am thankful. . . '

"[He] wrote, 'I am thankful I live on planet Earth instead of Uranus.' "

I am so not making this up, people.  That's a serious infraction of our 6th grade center's disciplinary policies and guidelines.  I think Uranus is even mentioned in the Student Handbook that my kids and I have to sign at the beginning of every school year. 

People ask whether weapons and drugs are a problem in our district.  Well, you can bet Uranus that they're not.  Our students are too busy hassling with Ur-anally retentive teachers.

Actually, it's just this one teacher.  In the whole district.  This is the second time there has been some sort of complaint about my boy's behavior from this teacher.  The last one was when he had to stay after school for not completing his homework.  Yeah.  He's a regular hoodlum.

What's interesting, though, is that the teacher wrote her note to us on a photocopy of my son's assignment.  His assignment says "...Uranus".  Her note below it says, "...Ur anus" all with a space like that.  Selective vision?   Maybe uranus needs glasses or something?

My boy says he didn't mean anything by the Uranus thing.  So now he's in trouble for trying to fool me into thinking he's telling the truth.  I think it's called lying.  His anus is in deep doo-doo with mom and dad right now for trying to squirm out of this one.  He is to man up and apologize to the teacher.  Today.   When he turns in the signed note.  I made him practice, "I apologize. What I did was inappropriate."  About 20 or 30 times.  Just so he'd get the hang of it.

And I wrote the teacher a note back asking for a conference.  There may be more going on here than meets the anu. . . er, the eye.

What should I say to this planet-hating teacher?  (Well, what would Uranus do?  gah!)   What would YOU say?  Seriously.

Comments

[Margaret]

Sounds to me like this teacher has a serious discipline problem in her classroom -- like she has no idea how to dispense discipline.

I am so thankful that not all teachers have this problem.

I think a research paper (let's say 500 words) is in order on the planet Uranus and why the people of Earth would not be thankful to live there.

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[Leanne]

Hee Hee Hee. I have an eleven year old boy too. You're right in the grand scheme of things this isn't the worst crime. BUT on the other hand he's gotta realize he can't pull stuff like this at school too.

Hee Hee Hee. Sometimes I find the hardest part of parenting is not laughing at them. :)

So, I think you're handling it PERFECTLY. Way to go Mom.

[Mulled Vine]

Tell her: "The Sun shines out of Uranus".

[Lidian]

Oh, the fun of parent-teacher conferences is upon us, all right! I think you handled it just right.

[Carol]

Margaret: I like the way you think, girl.

Leanne: Yeah, what is it with pre-pubescent boys and the potty-butt jokes? Talk about reading the note and trying not to break out laughing...wholly cow, but I got me some acting skilz, man!

Mulled Vine: Hmmm...I'm sure she thinks it does.

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

I think I'd point out that if the students had been asked to work a little harder and explain WHY they are grateful for things, she might be surprised why your son is grateful he doesn't live on a distant planet.

I mean, sheesh. One sentence??

[carol at A Second Cup]

You have to admit he is a clever kid! Of course because of his teacher's short sightedness he maybe in trouble with the adults but his coolness factor with his peers went up. She won the battle but lost the war.

[Angelika]

*Rolling Eyes*

I honestly don't know what I'd say to that teacher.

Because I'd be too irritated that she let something like that push her frigging buttons.

I hear from my 12 (almost 13) year old boy all the stupid things that his classmates (and him too, probably) do every day. They're BOYS. If they aren't hitting or name calling, what's the freaking problem?

See. Now you've got my blood pressure up. ;-)

[Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"]

It seems like there's a mountain here out of a moehill. I think this teacher got upset about nothing. I would have just signed it and let it go myself.

[Surviving the circus]

Very funny stuff. How do we praise our children for their wit and sarcasm and yet make them understand that it is not wise for such things to be directed at those in authority? If I were the teacher, I would have laughed hysterically. Apparently, she has no sense of humor left, which is understandable I guess, but maybe she needs to change professions if her own insecurities cause her to react with punishments to every little thing she doesn't approve of - or understand. Go Moms!

[Aldon Hynes]

I guess I'm always a bit of a trouble-maker so I might have approached it a slightly different way. I would try to get my son to try and understand why it is a bad idea to upset anally retentive teachers and of course understand what 'anally retentive' means.

"I'm thankful that my parents have helped me to understand why it is a bad idea to upset anally retentive teachers."

I'd probably have a fun teacher-parent conference after that.

All joking aside, I have mixed feelings. I do believe that the school is not doing its job if that is what they are focusing on.

I've been writing a lot on education issue recent, attending board of education meetings, being on the technology committee. Stop by and read the education section. A teacher or school district that wastes time and effort on forbidding the use of the word Uranus is actually a pretty small stupid problem.

[Becky]

I work in a high school and kids say stupid stuff all the time. I think the teacher should have put the best construction on your son's comments, and that's what I'd tell her at the conference.

[Carol]

Lidian: Thank you.

Susan: It does seem a little first grade, don't you think? Maybe they should have written them on little turkey hands or something.

Carol@2ndCup: You are so right. Not sure whether the "coolness factor" is a good thing or not, though. He definitely is a clever kid. Gotta stay on my toes all the time.

A: Chill, girl. It's life. We gotta deal with all kinds, right?

Karen Author: That was my first inclination. But then he started lying to me. On that, I come down pretty hard.

Surviving: Amen! I believe there are a lot of teachers out there like that. Thankfully, there are a whole lot of really good ones, too.

Aldon, I agree to a point. The real problem as I see it is that my son was given a task to do and made a mockery of it and, subsequently, his teacher. Disrespect is not okay. He was out of line. In my mind, the appropriate thing for the teacher to have done was to take him aside (or not) and tell him she's disappointed in his response to the assignment - that he can do better and she expects him to complete the task appropriately. In other words, deal with it in the classroom.

Becky, I'm not sure what "best construction" means, but it sounds good. I'd like to know more before I go in on Monday.

[Spicybugz]

I can't stop laughing. That was a good one. I probably would have told the teacher to pull the stick out of her uranus. I think boys will be boys and if she was smart, she would never have let on, that she knew what he was up to. She could have just told him that she thought his paper was very interesting, and she would like to hear more of his views on uranus! Like a 500 word essay on it. That's how I would have handled it if I were his teacher. There's more than one way to make a child think.

Anyways, I'm laughing on that one.

[Carol]

Spicybug, can you get certified to teach? Quickly? Like, before Monday?

[Jennifer]

Holy Guacamole! So glad mine is only 2 - I've got a loooong way to go till the Uranus jokes set in! How hard was it NOT to laugh??

[Jan Bolling]

I am literally crying I'm laughing so hard!!! Hysterical post!! and yes, my
friend, you have the quite the clever lad!

I'm with Spicybugz on this one. That sounds like a great way the teacher could have handled it!
Happy Thanksgiving, Carol!!

[Spicybugz]

I did teach, I home taught my boys before it was fashionable to do it. My oldest is going to be 30. Yikes..that makes me sound old. :)

[Angelika]

Look for your High Five from me HERE! :-)