Back to School

 Well!  I'm going back to school!  Yessiree.  Me.  College-bound. Give me a backpack and an iPod so I won't be so conspicuous, right?  'Cause at my age . . .Ahem!

I guess the first time around didn't quite stick.  I mean, I have the diploma and all saying I have a B.S. in Nursing, which I've always considered quite appropriate - ummm... Not the nursing part.  But, since I haven't worked as a nurse in the past twelve years, I have to go get me some more book learnin'.

And the congregation says, "Amen!"

Because really - Do you want to wake up in the emergency room with a nurse standing over you who hasn't held a stethoscope in twelve years?   Right.

There are some things I have to do before my enrollment can be finalized, however.  Because you don't just waltz in, take the classes and get back to work.  That would be way too easy. 

And nothing says, "We're desperate for nurses" quite like making it really difficult for us to get back into the work force.

I have to take a CPR course.   Nobody wants a nurse that can't do CPR.  And it's been a while since I've had the course.  The funny thing about CPR is that, in the twenty years I worked in hospitals, I only had to put my highly trained CPR skillz to use one time.  When I was walking my dog in the park.  And a guy dropped dead on the nearby soccer field.  I kept him going until the ambulance arrived. It was pretty gross.  It was on a Saturday and I swear he'd tied one on really tight with his soccer buddies the night before.  I mean he truly tasted like regurgitated tequilla. (No need to ask me how I know what regurgitated tequilla tastes like, okay?)   I never did find out whether the guy lived to party on after that.

I have to pay money.  College costs, people!  A LOT!  And I don't get to go on scholarships this time around.  Thankfully, it's only one class.  One stinkin' 'spensive class, I tell ya.  I'm lookin' for a solid gold diploma when I'm done here.

I have to get my tetanus shot updated.  When was the last time you got a tetanus shot, hmmm...?  You're supposed to get one every ten years.  Unless you get a bad cut. Then it's only good for 5 years.  No clue why that is. So you don't get tetanus, I guess. 

And I have to get a TB skin test.   Nobody wants a nurse coughing blood all over them while taking their pulse, right?   I get that.  I'm thinking I'll pass this nursing refresher course with flying colors. 

How'm I doing so far?

Finally, before I go back to school, I have to have a note from my mom.  Yeah. I know.  It floored me, too.  My mom with Alzheimer's.  She has to write a note to the teacher saying I really did have the chicken pox and measles and mumps when I was a little girl.  So I don't have to get those shots, too.

"Dear Ms. Teacher,  Please excuse Carol from getting shots.  She was sick.  Forty years ago.  Sincerely, Carol's Mom."

I just hope she remembers.  Shots suck aspirate. (See?  I got me some terminology!)

After I get all that done, I'm gunning for a cush desk job reviewing charts or something.  I don't think I have the energy for delivering babies again.  Or for child/adolescent psychiatry.  That right there is probably what caused my own pathology. Either that or my condition is organic and fraught with solid defense mechanisms. 

It's just easier that way.

After a couple of years pushing a pencil sitting at a computer, the plan is for me to sign on for my master's degree.  What can I say?  It's a mountain.  Why not give it a climb?  Can't be any more challenging than these past sixteen years of motherhood.  Seriously.  The pressure has been UN-stinkin'-REAL!!  I'm thinking graduate courses are much less life-threatening than spoon-feeding.  Spoon feeding nearly did me in, people.  

If you could go back to school again,assuming you would even want to, what would you study this time around?

Do not say 'music' lest I weep.

Comments

[Mulled Vine]

I will never study again. School was awful. Uni was bearable because I liked the subjects. I just don't like exams.

[Susanne]

I think going back to school would do me in. But if forced to, I've always wished I did become a physical therapist so that is probably where I would head. Hats off to you, Carol for tackling it.

[Linda at 2nd Cup]

You touched on a nerve which is going to cause me to speak much in a comment.

I have never stopped wondering if I missed a career I would have loved, albeit not a "showy" career. For instance, I think I would have been a great librarian.

A few years ago, I wanted to study medical transcription because, and I'm not making this up, I love words, and I love to "type" or "keyboard," as they say now in school as fast as possible.

Almost every time I go anywhere, I think, "I wonder what it's like to work here? I wonder if she likes her job?" And by everywhere, I even mean even the candy shop girl in Santa's store in Santa Claus, Indiana.

Anyway, I'm happy for you. You'll do great.

[Patricia]

I did go back for my doctorate when I was in my 40's. Yes, it was hard, but incredibly rewarding. The job I got afterwards was ever so much more enjoyable than one I could have gotten with just an MA. I will never regret doing it.

[Sydney]

Unfortunately, Mom, I really don't think Lita is going to remember. Maybe you should take calligraphy while you're there, you know, so you can forge her signature.

[Melissa (Missy)]

Well, Accounting/business then photography (my official career) and I have all these fitness certifications (for some reason, an old ladies seem to be in demand to teach fitness classes.) and I have CPR. But I only have to take a 1 day course every 2 years. And I have never had to use it. And I keep one of those handy dandy pocket cpr masks on me almost all times. I hope and pray if I ever need it it is on me at the time. Reading your post made me nauseous. YUCK!

I don't think I want to go to school anymore. I am taking a bootcamp course next spring. I teach it from time to time so I thought I better get certified in it.

[Susan]

Good for you! Not sure I could do it...but I think I would probably learn more the second time around!

[maria]

Good for you Carol.

If I could go back, and had the money AND the time, and would I want to? Well I'm constantly learning something new. But you mean school aka college. Something to do with special education definately. Maybe when I'm 60? Because I can't forsee the time for formal schooling until at least then with homeschooling and youngest 7, while I'm ACK! 47 . :)

Currently I work at home and I type straight transcription.

[Angelika]

Good luck!

What about the people who have mothers/parents that have died? Why can't you just forge it?

I wouldn't go back to school for grades. I'd be interested to learn CSS, but at my own pace & whatnot. I'll probably do that anyway. Online. For free. It's how I learned everything else having to do with computers.

[Nicholas]

I went back to college well into adulthood, approaching my dotage even, and loved it! Apart from a backpack and iPod, you'll also need a cellphone, because as far as I could tell, every student except me would start making calls the moment one class ended, as they were walking to another.

[Bumbles]

I'm not sure I have a lot of faith in the institution you will be attending if they are too stupid to require a note from a grown woman's mother who doesn't remember whether or not you had any of the things you had! Good luck on your new venture. I don't ever want to have to go back to school again - I like learning on my own terms.

[Nessa]

Just found your blog via EC and I'm already hooked! Nice to "meet" you.

[e-Mom]

Wow, Carol. That's amazing. Good for you for diving right into your classes. God bless you... and thanks for de-lurking at Chrysalis!

(((Hugs))) e-Mom

[Jen]

You're gonna be the bestest bass-playing nurse EVER! Oh, and nowadays they give you those plastic thingies to put over the mouth during CPR. And why didn't that dude ever find you? Geesh! Did you watch Unsolved Mysteries to make sure he wasn't lookin' for you?

[jacqueline]

Congrats Carol! I love learning but my brain is too fried for the classroom. I'd like to go back and study landscaping next time around, if I so decide...for true. :-)

[Andrea]

Anything but business administration which is what I studied the first time around. I'd probably want to study something totally useless though just for the fun of it.

[Kristen@nosmallthing]

I had a dream the other night that I was in school again, and it scared the c.r.a.p. out of me. Hated it. Although I didn't hate it the first time around. I don't know. Mothering is so much more appealing to me right now.

If I could do it all again, I would study botany. Plants. It is totally my calling. Other than mothering. I studied psychology the first time around. Which is probably a little more useful to mothering than botany is. Maybe I should have double majored in psych and botany.

I do want to study again...probably will take an online course in botany, and someday I'd like to study photography. Or art. You see what I'm realizing here is that if I do study something again, it is going to be for the enrichment of my soul, not for a career. My career is wife and mother, and when the kids are a little older, I'm going to work on enrichment the "me".

Boy, this turned into a post itself. Sorry!

[Carol]

You guuuuuyyyyyssss....[said in my best whiny voice] I'm trying to be upbeat and postive about going to back to school. Do I want to? Heck no! Who wants to be a stinkin' nurse!

Thanks for the encouragement, eMom & Jen.

If I could study anything I want, it'd be music. But y'all knew that.

Nick: Cell phone. Check!

Angelika - For the MMR shot, you have to prove you've had the shots or the disease in order to avoid the shots. They'll take a note from mom on the disease. If your parents are dead, you get shots.

Bumbles - They don't know she has Alzheimer's and I'm not going to tell them. She can still sign her name, to it's all good.

Sydney, honey: Forgery is illegal. Didn't your mom teach you anything?

Nessa: Glad you found me!

Jaqueline: I feel your pain!

Kristin: parenthood and botany might not be as far apart as you think. The difference might be that plants are really quiet and don't require potty training.

[DG Jan]

Well, as you know I went back to finish my BA well into my 40's, but if I had to do it all over again from the beginning, there are two jobs I think I was meant to do...those being a college professor or a librarian. However, both professions require an advanced degree, and at this stage of my life, I have neither the money nor the energy to jump back into school while working a full-time job! Maybe if I found me a sugar daddy....Hmmmmmmm

[Kim H.]

Wow Carol! You are amazing! I can't wait to follow along and live vicariously through you as you re-enter the trenches of academia.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I went back to school. Isn't that pathetic? I'm 39 - I never finished my degree - you'd think I would have thought about it before.

I'd love to have a degree that allowed me a job where I'd be super skinny and fit and I'd help people that needed me and I'd make lots of money so I could give lots of money to charity. Yea, I'd be all over a career like that. Oh, and at the same time, I'd perfectly balance being wife and mother too. Uh huh....

But you definitely got me thinking, girl!

[Lori]

Wow that is exciting. I have debated on going back to get my business degree or maybe something computer related. Then I wake up and say nahhh I use my communication degree enough. =)

[Jenn]

WOW! Good for you!

I'm doubtful I'd ever go back to school, but I think if I did I'd do something archetecture related.

(I LOVE that you need to get a note from your mom...that cracks me up!)

[storyteller's other blog]

Congratulations and best wishes on your decision to return to school. I returned to CSULB for my Masters in Counseling in my late 30s after I'd been teaching for about 15 years and attended nights over several years. It was the best and worst of times, but I'm glad I did it ... and now that I've been happily retired for 8 years, I'm happy to have returned to the local Adult School to take Photoshop Elements classes these past 8 months or so. I'm looking forward to a Writer's Workshop to begin mid-February!
Hugs and blessings,

[Joy @ Five J's]

I'm a nursing school drop out. Dropped out 3 classes shy of graduation. But I don't regret it (dropping out I mean) and I'm not going back. Nursing school, instead of preparing me for a career in nursing, prepared me to homeschool my kids (learning that medical terminology sure made teaching Latin a whole lot easier!)

Hope you have fun in school (you know, that doesn't even sound right). So how about, do well in school!