She Lives

First Impressions

I learned something very interesting this weekend that I'd like to share with you, dear readers.  It's not something life-altering or mind-blowing or anything like that.  Or maybe it is and I just haven't noticed yet that my life is altered and my mind blown.  Those seem to be big-ish things and you'd think I'd notice, but sometimes it just takes a little while for things to sink in with me.

So I learned something.  Um...Hmmm...Gee.  I hope I didn't already forget it.  That can and does happen, of course.  (See the purple spinning widget in my right sidebar.)

Oh, yeah!

What I learned is this:  Sometimes someone you meet seems super poised and intelligent and together, like their IQ tops the Smart Charts or something.  And they look like they just stepped out of some magazine not found in beauty shops 'cause beauty shops usually just have People and Redbook. 

No, these types of folks look like someone peeled them off the pages of Scientific American, which you never see in a beauty shop or even a beauty salon.  They don't seem the least bit goofy or like they'd ever have to call their cell phones several times in a single day just to keep up with it.  And they sort of look down their noses like you remind them of someone they once paid to scrape gum off their shoes or something.

So you meet someone all intimidating like that and you're thinking, "I hope I don't say something dumb here.  I wish I read Scientific American.  Ever.  Or even my son's' copy of National Geographic Kids.  The newspaper?  Something besides cereal boxes, anyway."

And right when you're sure you're setting yourself up for a Southwest Airlines need-to-get-away moment, they open their mouths and they speak.  And you realize they're just like you.  I know, right?

First impressions can be misleading.

That's what I learned.

Memorial Day

Remembering the service people who died fighting for our country.

Mourning the ones who died for naught.

In honor of them all.

13 Steps Towards Healthier Eating

It's a toxic world out there! 

The chemicals in the stuff we call food are slowly killing us, folks.  The food industry is a powerful force in D.C. that has the FDA safely tucked into their collective billfold.  The FDA's policy:  If it doesn't kill you in 24 hours, it's fine to sell it to you as food.

And we wonder why the incidence of diabetes, auto-immune diseases, infertility, cancer and other chronic illnesses has skyrocketed in the past 10 years?  Please.

Here are some steps you can take right now towards healthier eating for you and your family.

1. Switch from margarine to butter.  Back in the 60's, when they were saying butter causes coronary artery disease, they were wrong!  Back in the 70's when they were saying all cholesterol is bad, they were wrong again!  It's the stinkin' trans fats that's guilty.  (And we may find out that they're wrong about that, too, but I'm going with it for now.)
2. Switch from vegetable and canola oil to olive oil. (See #1)
3. Eat only cage-free eggs.  A little more expensive; a whole lot healthier.
4. Ditto organic milk.  Those antibiotics and hormones
5. As much as possible, use only feta and goat cheese.  It's great in salads, sandwiches, omelettes, etc.
6. USE ONLY NATURAL SWEETENERS!!!  Toss the yellow, blue and pink packages in the trash and go with sugar.  Artificial sweeteners can actually cause you to gain weight quicker than the calories you get from sugar. 
7. Use honey whenever possible. (Local honey helps fight allergies!)
8. STOP WITH THE STINKIN' DIET SODAS!! They are poison! (See #6)
9. Ditto anything with aspartame.  Aspartame converts to a formaldehyde-like substance when it reaches body temperature.  Think about that for a second. 
10.  Read the label!  If you don't know what it is or you can't pronounce it, do you really want to put it in your mouth!?!?  I mean, really!
11. Say no to GMO's!  Genetically modified foods can often be identified by their PLU numbers. (Look at the sticker on your produce.)  If it is a 5-digit number beginning with an 8, it is GM. However, you can't always trust this system.  Not all foods will have a PLU identifying it as such, because PLU labeling is optional in the U.S. and Canada
12. Switch to sea salt.  It has no chemicals, flavor enhancers, additivies and is not iodized.  Hence, it's healthier.
13. Avoid pork products. I'll give you a link on this one. There are turkey and beef alternatives to sausage, bacon and ham that will serve you just as well. 

There!  That should give you a great start towards healtier eating!

This has been a Thursday 13 post.

Perfect Tablespoon Every Time

Brown in 1 Tbs oil.
Add 2 Tbs. oil.
Sautee onion in 1 Tbs oil until transparent.

I'm suck-ish at guessing cooking amounts. (Rachel Ray?  Pfffttththththhh!)  What is a stinkin' tablespoon, anyway!?!?  I would much rather guess and be wrong than reach in the drawer, pull out the measuring spoon set that is all hooked together with a ring, then have to wash it all for that 1 Tbs. oil I had to measure into the recipe.  C'mon!  Isn't there enough kitchen clean-up as it is?

Introducing this baby!

I keep oil by the stove in this bottle.  I bought it ages ago and keep refilling it from a giant bottle.  We only use olive oil, which can be expensive, so I buy the big jug at Costco to save...blah, blah, blah...

The key is the spout at the top.  It may seem a little pricey at $8 (Williams Sonoma store - not online, I checked) but it is totally worth it.  Not only does it give you a controlled pour from your oil bottle, it pours out exactly one tablespoon of liquid. Kinda like magic, only probably not.  It just pours, then stops and that's a tablespoon.  (How does it KNOW!?!?!?)

No more guessing?  No more dragging out the dangling ring of spoons?  I'm free, I'm free!!!!  Love this thing!!! 

I don't know whether similar-but-different ones will actually measure out a tablespoon, so be sure to test it out with an actual measuring spoon. Even if it doesn't do the matic measure thing, it's worth it just to be able to keep oil right by the stove in an attractive bottle that pours out mess-free.

Bonus Gift Idea:  Give someone a bottle of olive oil along with one of these pour spouts.  My mother-in-law loved having this as part of her Christmas gift this past year.  I stuck it in one of those wine gift boxes and she was all thinking we were giving her booze.  You should have seen her face when we handed her the box.  Hah!  That right there was worth the price of the spout!

Ohmygosh!  Am I talking about Christmas?  In May!?!?!? Somebody just shoot me.

Works for me!!

Six Flags and Triage

The Boy (12) goes on a field trip to Six Flags today.

That is so wrong on so many levels!  Every year there has been one amazing school field trip for each of my kids.  When I was a kid, we went on a field trip to the nursery next door to our school.  Every year.  That was where Mark Blackburn told me he wished he had enough money to buy the entire flower shop to give me.

I think that was the last time a boy under voting age said anything nice to me without questionable intentions.

Until my boy, that is.  But he was probably just buttering me up so I'd fork out the cash for the Six Flags field trip.

While at Six Flags they have four questions they have to answer on a work sheet.  I guess that's to justify the fact that they get to spend an entire school day at an amusement park.

It's going to be sunny with a high of 80 degrees here today.  Six Flags is a bit of a drive from out here in Far Western Suburbia, but I seriously doubt it's going to be 40 degrees with thunderstorms over there.  In other words, it'll be gorgeous.  And the rest of the world's school kids will be in school. Which means it won't be crowded.

I try to take the kids to Six Flags at least once each summer. Texas summer and all that implies; temps above 100 degrees in the shade and a b'zillion unsupervised youngsters running amok all over kingdom come.  (Drop the kids and their Season Passes off at Six Flags each day on your way to work - cheaper than child care.  True story!)

All that to say, he's going to have an amazing time!  While I sit home and work on my R.N. Refresher Course.  Which, by the way, is going to kill me.  Only the good die young, but I'm past my youthful bloom over here. If you come to my funeral, I'll go to yours, okay?

Do you have any idea how many new drugs have been placed on the market since 2002?  Yeah, I can't count that high. But I'm having to watch a video on each and every one of them.  There are usually 3 drugs discussed in each video.  The videos are like discussions between two people; one the head of the pharmacy school, the other the head of the nursing school. They didn't get to be heads of their respective departments with with their scintillating personalities or acting abilities, okay.

I'm also having to watch a lot of videos in which (bad) actors pretend to be patients.  They act out their complaints and symptoms and such. The video narrator gives us a bit of information like lab values, then we have to come up with a nursing diagnosis (not to be confused with a medical diagnosis) and develop a plan of care for each of the patients.  My first patient had projectile vomiting.  The special effects were grosser than real puke.

Can't I just do my care plan on Jack Bauer? He was pretty sick the last time I saw him.  And I think I know what the nursing diagnosis is.  I could evaluate for the outcome when I get around to watching the two-hour season finale.  Which won't be today.  Because I have a dozen more patient scenarios to work on.  While I'm not at Six Flags.

There has to be a way to convince my nursing instructor that we need a field trip to Six Flags.  We could persuade her that it would be great triage experience, going around looking for puking kids who ate too many Pink Things before they got on the Batman ride.  Or do some crisis intervention with kids just getting off Mr. Freeze.

'Cause I love me some big, scary rides, people!

Well, I think it's a great idea.  Which is probably why I'm not in charge of anything.

Where would you rather be today?

What's a Manner With Us?

Dear 21st Century People,

I'm a little confused about something and am writing this in the hope that you can help me understand.

What's so bad about etiquette?

A mere generation past, following a prescribed set of behavioral guidelines was the dividing line between humans and animals.  We didn't, for example, sniff each other's backsides and lick ourselves at the table.  We actually wrote thank you notes and knew how to introduce folks. 

We knew how to eat without grossing other people out. Well, mostly.

My theory is that the decline in basic manners is in direct proportion to our culture's decay in morals.  The more we exercise our right to do whatever the heck we want (What's right for you isn't right for me?  Say, what?), the more we decide people should be more tolerant of our slovenly, open-mouthed masticating, elbows-on-the-table, wipe-our-mouths-on-our-sleeves, don't-say-thank-you society.

Thank you notes are passe'?  Is that too great a carbon footprint to leave for future generations?  I mean all those cute little cards that can be opened up without clicking a mouse.  There must be piles of them...somewhere.

It's no longer in good taste to get up and let someone else have your seat? Does that threaten their self esteem?  I mean, we wouldn't want pregnant ladies or the elderly to think we're discriminating by refusing them their right to stand.

Men should no longe? hold doors open for ladies.  Is it too sexist?  'Cause a lady holding a baby, a grocery bag and a toddler's hand is perfectly capable or opening a door.  To do so for her might imply she can't juggle well, I guess.

Are we too busy to RSVP?  Can one RSVP via cell phone?  Or can that only happen via land line?  Do voice mail RSVP's count?  Are email RSVP's acceptable?  Maybe social media has replaced social mores?

Are we too afraid of strangers to offer our help?  That lady that just dropped her packages could be a ploy to distract us while her buddy makes off with our purse, right?

Are we too road enraged to give pedestrians the right of way?  Like if you get cut off at the stop sign, you pay it forward by mowing folks down in the parking lot?

I'm just asking.  It's not like I'm the etiquette police or anything. 'Cause if I was, I'd have to fine myself. 

Will the real Miss Manners please stand up?  'Cause a lady just approached the table and the guys are forever more Gorilla-glued to their seats. 

Thank You for Your Prayers

Tuesday afternoon, I received a frantic call from my sister.

Mother was very disoriented, lethargic, was complaining of pain in her back and legs and had a fever.  She cried out when my sister tried to move her at all to try to look at her back.  She'd been up walking and seemed just fine the evening before.

I had my sister call for an ambulance and Mom was taken to the ER. X-rays were taken of her pelvis and legs to rule out any fractures. They did a CT scan to see if there'd been any head trauma or a stroke.  Blood cultures were run because of the sudden fever.  But they never did figure out what happened.  They think the fever was due to a mild urinary tract infection.  Her blood pressure was way too high in the ambulance and ER, then way too low just hours prior to discharge, but they never pinpointed any reason for that, either.  They say the pain in her legs and back, and the fact that she suddenly can't walk is because of her chronic osteoarthritis - that she's had for years, but didn't keep her from planting in my garden two weeks ago or walking just fine hours before we had to call 911 for an ambulance.

She came home yesterday.

I'll spare you all the frustrating details of our being unable to figure out what happened or to have any idea whether Mom will regain her previous level of function, physical and cognitive.  Which leaves us wondering whether she can remain in my sister's home or whether it's time for us to seek a placement facility.  We do have home health assistance for the next few weeks.

I'd mentioned something on Twitter Tuesday while Mom was in the ambulance and folks have been asking for updates.  This post is mostly for them.  140 Twitter characters can be a bit limiting to try to explain something I can't seem to explain even in this post.

All that to say thank you to those who have expressed concern and took the time to pray for our situation. Of course we anticipated a gradual decline - after all, Mother does have Alzheimer's.  But to have this sudden, inexplicable change in her overall condition presents a host of questions.

If you have a minute now to pray, that would be most welcome.  Most folks just call her "Mrs. B."

13 Books I've Read and Have Opinions About

Time again to share with my dear readers that which I've been reading of late.  Please note: only the Bible gets 10 stars.  I have given a 9.5 before...once, I think.  I am definitely not a literary critic, so these reviews are simply my totally biased opinions to which I feel quite entitled.  And I hope you will find something here of interest.  If you click the photo, it will take you directly to the book's Amazon page.  If you click the photo and purchase the book, I might get about $0.03 from Amazon - just enough to make me question the value of affiliate programs.

The Soloist by Steve Lopez  Now a major motion picture, in case you didn't already know. I haven't seen the movie, but my sister says it must be seen in theaters and she loved it.  I'm afraid to see it because I loved the book and ...well, we all know the movie is never as good.  The most heart-wrenching thing about this book is the fact that it is a true story. And it will blow some your perceptions about homelessness right out of the water.  Well, it did mine,  anyway.  Nathaniel Ayers, the homeless person the book is about, is also a Julliard trained musician. Which definitely played on my heart's strings.  Well written, passionate, deep and inspiring, if you have no heart for the homeless, read this and you will.  8.5 stars.

The Reader by Bernhard Schlink  I'm not sure what to make of this book.  It's about  trauma, more than anything.  I didn't really understand the characters, of which there were basically two with a few walk-on roles by incidental characters who might as well have not have been there at all.  There were two huge things I found distasteful about The Reader, one with which you, my dear readers (not to be confused with the book's title, of course) may relate, the other about which we may disagree:  1)  it's about a sexual affair between a 15 year-old boy and a 30+ year-old woman and 2) it is yet another holocaust book.  Perhaps the second wouldn't have bothered me so had I known that from the back cover and if I hadn't just read a few other holocaust books.  To be real honest, it would be refreshing to read/hear/see more in the media about the g'billion other epic atrocities the human race has committed against each other over the course of human history. Maybe the movie is better in this case. 5 stars.

 The Mammy by Brendan O'Carroll  Recently widowed, Agnes Browne, mother of seven, has more mettle about her than any woman I personally know.  This is a story about friendship, motherhood, humility, and dreams...In other words, it's a book about the human heart.  Set in the Dublin, Ireland of 1967, the reader steps into Irish culture and wades through a bit of Irish profanity in the process.  I found the characters endearing, their plight touching, and their ability to cope inspiring.  Loved this book!  7.5 stars.

The Eight by Katherine Neville I read this on Margaret's recommendation, who always does better reviews than I.   This is a very complex set of stories, full of scary-smart characters engaged in intrigue and mysticism that all dovetail to create the story of a chess set.  Very well written and clever, Ms. Neville's tale actually flips back and forth between the 1972 and 1790.  (During the more recent year, I kept wondering, "Why don't they just use their cell phones?"  Duh!)  I enjoyed the adventure and the mystery very much. In fact, I may pick up Ms. Neville's classic, A Calculated Risk, some time when I have more than a few hours here and there to devote to it.  The Eight was not what I'd call a quick, light beach read. If you love being engrossed in a complex tale, this one's for you.  8 stars

Is it just me or is there a new trend to name books after the style of 60's rock bands?

Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem  Four orphaned boys in Brooklyn go to work for a shady character in this coming of age story told by the Tourette's-inflicted hero.  With strongly defined characters and a stiff thread of tension, this one keeps the pages turning for you.  It's a good story and blah, blah, blah.  But what I liked most about it is the insight it gives into Tourette's Syndrome.  The author really did his homework here.  Well-written and a great visual without a scrap of fluff. Definitely not chick lit!! (Multi-F-bomb alert.) 7 stars.

The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc by Loraine Despres  Chick Lit at its worst. I believe this author was trying to say that it's okay to cheat on your husband if he's a jerk and your old boyfriend comes back in town to seduce you.  I beg to differ.  The main character is nothing short of shallow and trashy with a few redeeming qualities that will win her no wife-or-mother of the year awards any time soon.  I'm sorry I read this book.  I should have stopped after the first chapter.  Shame on me!  2 stars just because I liked the clever way the author began the chapters.

Empire Falls by Richard Russo  Very unpretentious, from the language to the rich characters to the story of their magnetically simple, albeit quirky, lives.  Funny, compassionate, at times a little shocking, definitely compelling, Russo's book, set in a small town full of regular folk we all know and questionably love, is light enough for a pleasure read, but deep enough to possess a recognizeable ring of truth. I liked it so much, it gets 8.5 stars and made me want to read . . .

Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo  On the surface, this appears to be a simple story about simple folks in a small town.  But when you look deeper, it's the simple story of simple folks in a small town.  Set near Albany, NY, Thomaston could be Any Small Town, USA.  It's about people struggling to live the American Dream in a time when the dream was simpler and people's expectations humbler.  Despite the pervasive sense of despair enshrouding the characters and their town, there runs a bright thread of hope throughout the book that eventually prevails. The characters are multi-faceted, struggling with the traumas and tragedies of life while offering the reader an occasional bit of unpredictability. A very well-written book about love and friendship, I thoroughly enjoyed it!  8.5 stars.

People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks  This is, for the most part, an historical account of the persecution of the Jewish race.  (Why is everyone always picking on them?)  In this case, the story centers around a book and traces its tale backwards from the Bosnian War in 1996, to the book's creation in the 1400's, then back to 2002.  Ms. Brooks is an excellent author (Well, she did win a Pulitzer Prize for her book, March.) and the story is brilliantly done with an intriguing story line that flips back and forth through the past five hundred centuries to focus on the hands that held the destiny and the mysteries of a single book.  8 stars.

The Shack by William P. Young  I have a lot to say about this book. And I have some very strong opinions about it. So much that I gave it its own post.  A rather long post, if you include the video.  (Still long if you don't.) If your opinion and mine differ, just know the enemy would love nothing more than for us to take offense with each other; let's make sure that doesn't happen. Not rating this one.

Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier  Winner of the National Book Award, Frazier's first novel is extraordinary.  A Confederate soldier makes his way south to reunite with the woman he left behind.  Wounded and his journey fraught with peril his story weaves with that of Ada, who fights to save her father's farm in a land left torn and hopeless by war.  Strong, believable characters with clear motivation.  A fetching story well told.  8.5 stars.

No One Cares What You Had For Lunch (100 Ideas for Your Blog) by Margaret Mason.  My perception of this book may be somewhat clouded by the fact that I'm approaching my 1,000th post.   I'm past needing 100 ideas. Way past. And the ideas aren't all that innovative - they're things we're already seeing around the blogopshere.  I could heartily recommend it for newbie bloggers, though.  6 stars.

Blogging Heroes:  Interviews with 30 of the World's Top Bloggers by Michael A. Banks.  Banks has as much experience in the online community as anyone out there.   And the folks he interviewed for this book are definitely blogging moguls.  They include Gina Trapani from Lifehacker, Mark Frauenfelder from BoingBoing.net, Robert Scoble AKA Scobelizer, and Joel Comm from JoelComm.com.  From these blogging icons are shared advice, tips and plain, common sense to help your blog reach the top.  Interestingly, however, I notice most of the bloggers featured have business or tech-based blogs.  Like all the experts are somehow connected (even loosely) to the big tech niche?  I didn't see a single mom blogger featured.  Consequently, much of the advice offered pertains to PR ranking and SEO and tapping into one's "inner geek."  Each blogger talks about the history of their blog and does offer general advice about attracting readers, what makes a good blog, etc. I confess that by the time I got to #20, I was google-eyed.  (Or is it goggle-eyed?)  7.5 stars because there's no mom blogger in it (unless you count ParentDish). And we are a force to be reckoned with!

  Most of these books are on my shelf at PaperBack Swap.  If you join and request one of these titles, you may well end up with my copy.  For free!!!

This is a Thursday 13 post.  Because I still like memes and carnivals.

The Shack Attack

I'm probably going to tick off a bunch of my fellow Christians right here.  That would be the warning disclaimer thing;  if you're  Christian and you don't want your hide chapped, click away now.  (Fly, my pretties, fly!)

If you're not a Christian, (because I love ALL my readers) this isn't really for you and you can go ahead click away, too.  Unless you derive voyeuristic pleasure out of watching Christians get after it with each other instead of with lions.  Then you're welcome to stay.  Free laurel wreaths in the booth near the concession stands.  Don't let the centurions hit you on the way out.

It's about the book, The Shack. Being all pacifistic like I am, I hate to overturn the merchants' tables like this, but . . .

Firstly, I read the book before its official release date.  I was working in a Christian book store at the time, was intrigued, and got my own copy early on.  So, my POV here formed on its own before 1) the book became a huge best seller and 2)  I heard anyone else's opinion.

I was concerned when I read it.  I thought it bordered on heretical. I won't go into all the particulars here.   Tim Morrison's review highlights a lot of what bugged me as I read it.  There are many titles in Christian book stores that have gaping theological wounds; just because it's written and published and sold by Christians doesn't mean the theology is straight.  Our bad for being human, but there it is.  No one group has the bad-theology market cornered, either; it crosses all denominational (and non-denominational) lines.  

Me, being me, I didn't think much more about it until I realized the bookstore was selling copies faster than we could get them in.  The Shack was constantly on back order.  This is a small-ish community and I know at least a few folks in just about every church 'round these parts.  It's also a community were mostly everyone attends church.  So, when individual churches were purchasing the book by the case load to use in Bible studies, I became even more concerned. 

And said nothing.  Because, like everyone, I don't always do the right thing, either.  Not an excuse, peeps; just a fact.  I am not a good person.  It's a good thing I have a Savior, right?

My concerns?  Mark Driscoll sums them up better than I probably can.  Here's what he says.  (Mind you, this video was recorded after I'd stopped working at that bookstore, so no - he didn't influence my thoughts on The Shack, either.)  It's almost 8 minutes long.  I'll wait while you grab some popcorn.  Or rocks.  Your choice.

What Driscoll fails to mention is that the book isn't exactly a literary masterpiece, either.  The dialogue feels stilted and contrived rather than flowing naturally.  The story never really builds up to much of anything (which is what kept me reading. .  ."Where are we going with this?" besides the obvious - that the guy learns some lessons).  Large parts of it are slow.  The main character is two dimensional.  It is, at best, a mediocre piece of writing.  YMMV, but that's my critique sans theology.

So the book is hugely popular because . . . ?

I will say there are some excellent lessons in the book about forgiveness and love and self-pity (self-centeredness, self-this, self-that . . . all the selfish self-stuff).  It does a nice job reminding us about the value of love.  It does portray God as a loving God with our best interests at heart - and He is definitely that.  And it does make a good attempt at explaining why bad things happen to "good" people. Yes, there is some good theology in there.  As a matter of fact, there is just enough good theology in there to make people want to overlook the bad theology.  That's how the enemy creeps in - covering something that's not good with just enough good so that we blindly swallow the thing whole - good, bad and indifferent.

The other thing that bothers me is that many, many people see The Shack as a true story.  If you look on the back cover, just above the bar code, it says "fiction".  And why would the publishers publish it as a work of fiction if they knew it to be an autobiographical work?  Why would the author allow that?  And why are so many Christians adamant that it's a true story?  It's written in the first person, so . . .  what?  The preface is written by a character named "Willie" who could very well be a work of fiction as well.  The author's name is "William" so are we assuming "Willie" is one in the same?  With nothing else upon which to base the assumption?  I don't see where the author,William P. Young, ever declares the book to be non-fiction. How did so many people get deceived there?  What up with that?  The work reads like allegory.  I'll go there.

For the record, I'm sure the author is a Jesus-loving guy.  My understanding is that he did not write The Shack for publication in the first place. That his theology is whak does not mean his intentions for writing the book were evil or anything like that.  I think his picture of who and what God is needs straightening out, that's all.

Moving on . . .

So, why have so many Christians been suckered in?  Because the book is popular, for one thing.

People are going to believe what they want to believe. Period.  If it is culturally popular to love poop, they are going to fault you for saying the poop stinks and is unhealthy for human consumption. Christians are no different here.  We are all susceptible to falling for doctrinal traps and lies.  Again, we believe what we WANT to believe whether it be true or not. 

It is important vital essential imperative (Is there a strong enough word for me to use here?) that anything we expose ourselves to be held up against God's Word for accuracy.  Don't even listen to Mark Driscoll.  Or me.  Or anyone else.  Check the verses for yourself.  Get your concordance and do your own study.  Prayerfully approach this, and all matters, with the discernment God gives us.  (Note to non-Christians:  Yes, Christians do believe in the inerrency of scripture.  Because some things are true regardless if what we WANT to believe.)

And we, as 21st century, it's-all-about-me, there-is-no-right-or-wrong, ("I have rights, man!") kinds of people, we prefer the benign, hippie, he's-just-like-us god of The Shack over the righteous, all-powerful, He-who-is-to-be-obeyed God of the Bible. 

Hard words make for soft hearts.  Soft words make for hard hearts.  Old Testament prophets weren't very popular. They had a hard word for God's people.

And this hard word is all I've got to say about that.  I guess I'll go hang out in the desert for a while and hope some birds feed me or something.

It's Okay to Hate the Proverbs 31 Woman

Okay, The Proverbs 31 Woman reared her disgustingly perfect head twice in one day yesterday; once in my prayer group when my friend, Laurie, who will end up being a character in a book I'm going to write, read the passage from her kids' One Minute Bible.  Well, it was the passage with yesterday's date on it, so she read it.  Proverbs 31:10-31,

That evening, I realized I hadn't read a single blog post all day in days so I go over to Steph's blog (because she was being so nice to me on Twitter because my mom was in the emergency room and I was worried) and there's ol' Steph (who isn't old or anything) blogging about You-Know-Who.

When it comes to The Proverbs 31 Woman, I'm going to tell Steph (and you) the same thing I told Laurie (and the rest of my prayer group) which is basically the same thing I tell everyone about that wench:  I HATE HER!!!

Laurie tried to show me all the ways in which I'm just like her.  (pffththth....nice try!)

Steph points out the woman doesn't sleep.  (So, she suffers from sleep-deprive psychosis?)

I love Laurie and Steph.  It's The Proverbs 31 Woman I'm not too crazy about.  (If you are her, consider this stinkeye aimed directly at you.)

Meanwhile, I have one other thing to say about The Proverbs 31 Woman:  I don't think she does now, nor has she ever actually existed.  Check it out:

Proverbs 31:10a (and I quote) A wife of noble character who can find? (unquote)

Then it goes on to list all the many reasons for my well-placed antipathy.

Solomon, truly the wisest man to have ever lived, is credited with writing most of the Proverbs. That guy had 300 wives and 700 concubines!  Based on that fact plus the above verse, the wisest guy to have ever lived never found The Proverbs 31 Woman. He's asking, "Who can find?"  If he'd found her, do you really think he would have gone through that many women? Seriously.   (And I don't have to feel bad about hating someone who never existed in the first place, right?)

And so we, as NON-Proverbs 31 Women, do the best we can and pray the Lord helps us each day to do better than we did the day before.  When we fail, He forgives us.  When we succeed, He adds a jewel to the crown we'll one day toss at His feet. 

And I continue to be thankful for friends like Laurie and Steph who are not The Proverbs 31 Woman (thank you, Jesus!), and who help me see that I may hate that P31 wench, but she can still be a goal towards which I can strive.

The Proverbs 31 Woman works for me! 
(And I don't even have to pay her.)